I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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