Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
