i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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