well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
