so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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