I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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