I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
