A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
