worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
