pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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