i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
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The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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