she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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