Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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