Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
