you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
