I wannas sexs uuuuu
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
