why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
