she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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