DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
