I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize