I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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