Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She bit a glass in half.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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