therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
