I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize