It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
