it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
