You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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