just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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