Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
