just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
