You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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