All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize