These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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