I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Boobs are out for the taking
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
