I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
