Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
