never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
