Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
