Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
