its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just high enough for therapy.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
