I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
