When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize