I'm jealous of your bromance
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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