Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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