hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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