I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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