Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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