Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
