How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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