you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
