I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
The adults are the big ones right?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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