Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize