if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
