I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
