He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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