The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
