i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
high people should be assigned attendants
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
