i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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