Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
