if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
