I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
