I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
