literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish you could order shots online.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
