they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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