My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
