the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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