Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
